Friday, March 6, 2009

What scares you most?

I' afraid. Scared. From what, or who? I don't know.
The future I guess. I'm standing at a cross roads and i have absolutely no idea where to go. Maybe I'll just flip a coin and see where it will lead me to. You gonna say : well talk to a freind.
I never oppened up to anyone. I mean REALLY open up. I noticed that today. Looking back, I had so many good freinds, but not ONCE I REALLY opened my heart for one of them. I think I have problems with trusting people. It's funny how my freinds trust me, i mean they could bet their lives on me, but I never trusted anyone - enough.
I wish i knew who i really am. Im sick of being so immature , while evryone around me , same age as mine, are reaching way high levels of maturity, and im just stuck here in the stupid immature me. im freakin 23, and i cant make my own decisions. so hesitant ain every single decision.
And im really boring. I mean God help who ever I may marry one day. That is if I ever will. I have problems with being close to someone. I run away when i notice that someone likes me. Even if i like that person back , i can't help but runaway. what is freakin wrong with me? I want attention , and when i get it, i flee. Insecurity? Yea I guess.
I've put myself on pause for so long. But not anymore. Will be a yes-person from now on.