Friday, March 6, 2009

What scares you most?

I' afraid. Scared. From what, or who? I don't know.
The future I guess. I'm standing at a cross roads and i have absolutely no idea where to go. Maybe I'll just flip a coin and see where it will lead me to. You gonna say : well talk to a freind.
I never oppened up to anyone. I mean REALLY open up. I noticed that today. Looking back, I had so many good freinds, but not ONCE I REALLY opened my heart for one of them. I think I have problems with trusting people. It's funny how my freinds trust me, i mean they could bet their lives on me, but I never trusted anyone - enough.
I wish i knew who i really am. Im sick of being so immature , while evryone around me , same age as mine, are reaching way high levels of maturity, and im just stuck here in the stupid immature me. im freakin 23, and i cant make my own decisions. so hesitant ain every single decision.
And im really boring. I mean God help who ever I may marry one day. That is if I ever will. I have problems with being close to someone. I run away when i notice that someone likes me. Even if i like that person back , i can't help but runaway. what is freakin wrong with me? I want attention , and when i get it, i flee. Insecurity? Yea I guess.
I've put myself on pause for so long. But not anymore. Will be a yes-person from now on.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I'm glad I found your comment in Hareega's blog. I am a Medical student at Mu'tah university.

I would love to see how other medical studetns are managing their life. In your case, I am interested to know how you can be both a blogger and a medical student.
"I've been putting myself on hold till I graduate but I realized it wont work" I love this sentence!
Well... It is kindda the same case here with me... I am blogging because I just want to know what should my goals in life be... Complicated issuue!